Some of my fondest memories with my dad are fishing trips when I was young. Long drives up to the White Mountains, the cooler, the fishing rods. In my teen years it was hunting trips up north with my dad, my brother and my uncles. On those trips my dad was all in, focused on having a good time with us, away from our everyday life in the city. He's an amazing father, and he's my best friend today.
That carried on in me. Camping, hunting, fishing and hiking are woven into the fabric of my own family now. I have four kids: Bronson (16), Blake (14), Violet (10) and Wyatt (8).
If you're searching for how to take your kids fishing and you don't really fish yourself, this is for you. It's a lot simpler than you think.
Know the real agenda
For a little kid, the main agenda is just to catch a fish. They don't care how big it is. They don't care what kind it is. What they care about is: am I getting bites? Am I catching a fish?
So for the first trip, set it up so they catch something.
The simple setup (even if you know nothing about fishing)
Here's all you need:
- A fishing pole. A little rod is perfect for a little kid.
- Some light line
- A small hook. Not a big deep-sea fishing hook.
- A split shot weight
- A bobber, which is a float
- Worms
Tie the hook to the end of the line. There are a lot of videos on YouTube on how to tie a hook. Place the bobber 12 to 18 inches above the hook, and put the split shot weight in between the bobber and the hook. Hook the worm onto the hook, then throw the bobber out close to shore.
That's it. Very simple.
Where to go: a community pond
A lot of the community ponds near your house hold bluegill, little bass and other panfish. Those fish are going to eat those worms. It's close, it's easy, and your kid has a real shot at catching something.
It doesn't have to be a long time when they're little. Take them out from a young age and let them reel it in.
Your real job: patience
Here's what's going to happen. They're going to tangle their rods. They're going to break their line. They're going to throw it into the trees.
As dads, our job is to handle that with patience, with love and kindness, and to teach. Because if we don't do it with love and kindness, and we don't teach, they're not going to want to go back out there.
Remember: you're not there to enjoy fishing, necessarily. You're there to enjoy your kids, to connect with them, teach them and guide them.
Every kid has a Connection Account with you. It works like a bank account, with deposits and withdrawals, but the currency is connection. The deposits that matter are presence, sacrifice and repair when you blow it. Losing your cool over a tangled line is a withdrawal. Patiently untangling it and helping them cast again is a deposit. And if you do blow it, own it. (Here's how I apologize to my kids.)
The fish is secondary
For her tenth birthday, Violet decided she wanted to spend the morning fishing. So we tried a community pond nearby. Just me and her.
She caught a bunch of fish. But more importantly, we talked about a lot of things. About her growing up so quickly. About what her favorite thing is about our family. About what she looks forward to most about growing up, and why she wants to be a mommy so much.
It was such a great opportunity to talk with her, share with her and connect with her, all while we were fishing. Catching the fish was secondary to the experiences we shared that day. I'll remember those conversations. And I'll also remember the eight-pound catfish she reeled in.
Don't leave your daughters at home, either. Girls want to be in the outdoors too. They want excitement and adventure, and they're looking to their dads. (More ideas for girl dads in daddy-daughter date ideas.)
Let them get excited
My favorite fishing memory with Blake is from when he was six or seven. We were fishing a reservoir up in Colorado and caught these beautiful cutthroat trout, something we'd never seen before in Arizona. I just remember how excited he was. How big they were, what they were. He loved it.
Blake is 14 now and he still loves the outdoors: fishing, hunting, camping. He's my quieter one, with lots of one-word answers. A lot of our individual conversations happen in the car, or on a morning out fishing together.
For his 14th birthday, he wanted to fish the Salt River. Money was a bit tight. I could have been working and earning, but I'd have missed the trip. My flesh was torn. I took him fishing. Memories with my kids will always outweigh my earnings.
Put the phone away
A lot of the places we camp and hunt, there's no phone service, which makes it great. Getting outdoors is about unplugging. A big part of our culture today is our phone. Putting it away and focusing on the relationship that's right in front of you is an amazing gift to your kids.
At the neighborhood pond you'll probably have service. Put it away anyway. Your kids are watching what you look at, and they know exactly what's important to you.
Not ready for a trip? Start in the backyard
If the whole outdoors thing feels like a lot, the easiest way to start is a backyard campout. Get a tent, it doesn't have to cost much, set it up in the backyard with a fire pit, and learn what you need to learn while you're at home. Once you're comfortable there, get out and experience the real thing.
Dads have been doing this for generations upon generations. It shouldn't stop with you. I'd encourage any dad, experienced or not, to take them young.
Start this weekend
Not every dad has a flexible schedule. That's ok, you don't need one. But everyone has free time. Great dads connect during that free time. They don't retreat or check out, no matter how tired.
So this weekend: a pole, small hooks, split shot, a few bobbers and some worms. Find the closest community pond. Phone away. Be patient with the tangles. And enjoy your kid.
Free for busy dads: The Busy Dad's Bonding Cheat Sheet. Real ways to connect with your son or daughter in 1 minute, 10 to 20 minutes or 1 hour. Three pages. Grab it and pick one idea for tonight.
Fishing, hunting, camping and the backyard campout are all in The Distracted Dad: Guide to the Outdoors. You can find all five Distracted Dad guides at stan.store/gabetrevizo, $24.99 each, or the Complete Collection for $79.99.
Know a dad who's never taken his kids fishing? Send this to him. It might be the nudge he needs this weekend.
Presence is the best present. — Gabe
