How to Play With Your Kids When You're Tired (and Don't Really Want To)

Let's be honest. Sometimes you don't want to play. You're tired. Your team is on. There are chores. And right then, a little voice says, "Daddy, can we..."

That's normal. Here's how I've handled it with four kids.

Set a 20-minute timer

When Violet wanted me to play Barbies or make-believe and I didn't want to, I'd set a phone timer for 20 minutes. Then I'd put the phone down and play fully committed. When it buzzed, I'd say:

She'd usually hug me around the neck and say, "Thanks, daddy!" That's a huge deposit in her account.

Invite them into the chore

When my boys were little and "Daddy, can we..." came during chores, "no, I'm busy" was true, and it's ok. But a lot of times I'd say: "I'd love to, but right now I'm cleaning the pool. Would you like to help? Once I'm done we can play catch."

It gave them so much pride and ownership. And guess what? Connection deposit.

Wrestle with your boys

Boys from about 4 to 15 need roughhousing. They want those moments with dad where they can show how strong they are. Wrestle with your boys. Just don't break your wife's favorite decoration.

Be willing to be silly

Put them on your shoulders. Twirl them around. Dress up. Play make-believe. Don't take yourself so seriously. Enjoy your kids.

It won't last forever

Violet and I played Barbies every Saturday and Sunday. At times I hated it. Then, sometime before she turned 10, she just stopped. I don't remember our last time. We usually won't know it's the last time.

Start this weekend

Next time you hear "Daddy, can we...", set a 20-minute timer or invite them into what you're doing. Either way, you just made a deposit.

For girl dads, The Distracted Dad: Girl Dad Playbook has the 20-minute timer and a lot more. You can find all five Distracted Dad guides at stan.store/gabetrevizo, $24.99 each, or the Complete Collection for $79.99.

Presence is the best present. — Gabe