My oldest, Bronson, is 16 now. He talks to me about everything. People ask how that happened. The honest answer: it started when he was a baby.
If you're a new dad searching for how to bond with your baby, this is for you.
Connection starts young
Connection at a young age drives trust. Trust builds openness when kids hit adolescence and hard things start happening. The deposits you make now are what you'll draw on later.
Hold them
When kids are little, connection is simply holding them. Some men feel like that's mom's job. It isn't. Physical touch is so important.
Own the hard stuff
When Bronson was born, I jumped in with two feet. I got up for night feedings. I rocked him. I'd get home from work knowing my wife was exhausted too, so I shared the workload: baths, late-night drives to get him to fall asleep. I owned it. That was the beginning of our connection.
As our family grew, I was so involved right alongside my wife that my mom jokingly called me "Mr. Mom." I didn't take it as an insult. I embraced it.
Toddlers: get physical and silly
At 2 and 3, let them sit on your shoulders. Twirl them around. Be silly. Dress up and play make-believe. Don't take yourself so seriously.
Build a routine
Bath, books, prayers, lying down with them in their bed. A nightly routine gives them security in their relationship with their dad.
Start tonight
Take the next bath, the next feeding or the next bedtime. Phone in another room. That's your first deposit.
Free for busy dads: The Busy Dad's Bonding Cheat Sheet. Real ways to connect with your son or daughter in 1 minute, 10 to 20 minutes or 1 hour. Three pages. Grab it and pick one idea for tonight.
The little-years chapters (owning it, physical touch, being silly) are in The Distracted Dad: The Foundation. You can find all five Distracted Dad guides at stan.store/gabetrevizo, $24.99 each, or the Complete Collection for $79.99.
Presence is the best present. — Gabe
