I've built multiple companies. I've been on Shark Tank. And I'll be honest: there have been seasons where every waking moment I was focused on my business, whether I was working on it or just thinking about it.
So when dads ask me how to balance work and family, I don't answer from a mountaintop. I answer from the middle of it.
It isn't one or the other
The good news is it doesn't have to be business or kids. It's what you do with the time you give them. Are you present? Are you investing in the connection? If so, you can thrive as a businessman and a father. You can build businesses and still be the dad you want to be.
Watch the "I'm doing this for them" line
As men, we want what we want, and we'll often say things to make it sound ok. I have to go in on the weekend to close that deal. The work trip won't be successful unless I'm there. "I'm working these hours for them" may even be true. But ultimately they don't need you to work 70 hours a week. They need you present and focused in these very fast years.
Set parameters on your work
Schedule your work time around time with your kids, not the other way around. Give them good hours of your time, not the leftover hours.
In our house, we give family time a name and put it on the calendar. We eat dinner together about ninety percent of the time. Friday night is family night. That's our schedule.
Keep your losses out of their sense of security
My kids see me running businesses every day. If you asked them how my day went, they'd probably say I seemed fine, whether I had a huge win or a huge loss. If I get a big win, we might celebrate. But I don't want my losses touching their sense of security.
Business is a big part of my life. It's given our family a great life. But my kids are held way above any business win I've ever had.
A real test
On Blake's 14th birthday, he wanted to fish the Salt River. Money was a bit tight. I could have been working and earning. My flesh was torn. But I took him fishing. Memories with my kids will always outweigh my earnings.
Start this week
Pick one block on your calendar this week, name it, and protect it like a client meeting. Then show up fully, phone away.
Free for busy dads: The Busy Dad's Bonding Cheat Sheet. Real ways to connect with your son or daughter in 1 minute, 10 to 20 minutes or 1 hour. Three pages. Grab it and pick one idea for tonight.
I wrote a whole guide for dads whose phone is their office: The Distracted Dad: The Business Dad. You can find all five Distracted Dad guides at stan.store/gabetrevizo, $24.99 each, or the Complete Collection for $79.99.
Presence is the best present. — Gabe
